List of Things To Do Today:
Item #1: Put new sheets on bed.
Notes: Look, You’ve got a whole day. You should be able to do this.
Instructions:
Empty bag onto floor. Fold flat sheet in half twice for no reason, then place back in bag. Take fitted sheet out of bag and light on fire. Remove pillowcases from bag, look at them inquisitively, then place in pile with old pillowcases. Take flat sheet back out of bag and very gently place on edge of bed, careful not to unfold it.
Now lie down and sleep on bare bed for 3 nights before attempting to make bed. Take short video of yourself attempting to put pillowcases on pillows while eating marshmallows. Pause video when you are holding the pillow under your chin, take a screenshot of your face, and send it to all your friends. Blog about the experience!
Emergency Contacts:
-Aunt Jane
-Pastor Bill
-That Guy Ahmed
-Mom
-Tommy James
-Any other member of the Shondells
-Barry Sanders
-Deion Sanders
-Bernie Sanders
-Neighbor Lady?
-Pet Rabbit
-Grandpa… No, Grandpa has never put new sheets on a bed before...