List of Things To Do Today: Item #1: Put new sheets on bed. Notes: Look, You’ve got a whole day. You should be able to do this. Instructions: Empty bag onto floor. Fold flat sheet in half twice for no reason, then place back in bag. Take fitted sheet out of bag and light on fire. Remove pillowcases from bag, look at them inquisitively, then place in pile with old pillowcases. Take flat sheet back out of bag and very gently place on edge of bed, careful not to unfold it. Now